Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Next Year....

We are not having Halloween.

Next year... I am going to buy each of the kids a big honkin' bag of candy and take them to a really cool movie on October 31st. (The day that won't be Halloween.)

Since it won't be Halloween, there will be no costumes. There will be no last minute costume changes or discontent... no dressing up and down starting at 8:00am... and no fighting over weapons or canes. There will, however, just in case the habit is too strong to break, be a "No Whining" sign.

Next year... I won't turn into a ferocious beast as I deal with children bouncing, whining, interrupting, disobeying, climbing, wiggling, complaining, and fighting all... day... long.

They will do school like it's a regular day without freaking out over their math... and cook lunch like civilized beings without spilling it all over the floor. Because I'm that mean.

I am. It is quite possible that I'm the meanest, least tolerant Halloween Mama in the whole United States. Or maybe I'm just the most tormented. Nah, probably just the meanest.

Well, later I'm sure to have adorable Halloween pictures... but now I must continue my breathing exercises and efforts to speak in a civil voice through clenched teeth to insane Halloween-crazed children. And set the Tivo for Pushing Daisies.


Angelika said...

OK, sit down, twist your legs into a pretzel, hands up, fingertips together, and repeat after me "Ommmm". Breathe. Better? I'm sure you are the best mom ever, but especially today, even the best behaved children got nut. Btw. I second the "No Halloween" idea. :)

Yarnhog said...

I'll bet you can't hold a candle to me. I got sent to my room for a timeout while my husband made dinner. (I'm trying to figure out how I can make this a regular thing without him catching on.)